Let's be honest, Hitchens was right. Not all monotheisms are the same, not all religions are the same, and not all religions are equal, despite what Bahaullah may have said. Below, I will give you, in my opinion, the worst religions from the worst being no.1. downwards. So, let us begin.
1.Islam
2. Scientology
3.Mormonism
4. Christianity
5. Judaism
6.Zoroastrianism
7.Hinduism
8. Shinto
9.Buddhism
10.Taoism
11.Confucianism
12.Deism
13.Pantheism
Ok, now, why have I ranked them as they are? Well, Islam is no., because, let's be honest, it's shit. It's a terrible, terrible religion. Muhammad was a lying fuckwit. I would agree that, to some extent, he genuinely believed in his mission, and the early revelations would suggest that is true. But the Medinan suras are just bollocks. How anyone could believe they're from god, I just don't know. Also, Islam combines the worst elements of Christanity - heaven and hell, with holy war! That's right, you can't be a good Muslim unless you go out and bring the whole world under Islam. Right now, Islam probably kills more people on a daily basis than all other faiths combined. Also, of any faith, it has its head most in the sand about the modern world. Evolution - not true, anti-Islamic conspiracy!
Scientology - Almost certainly one of the most ludicrous religions out there, I'd also say it was the most evil of the modern era. Like Muhammad, Hubbard hated a lot of people, particularly women. It treats you like shit, and then tells you that you can be a god. Sounds like a Freudian nightmare to me. On top of this, you have to pay to get in. And just like Islam, it has designs on world domination - see Sea Org.
Mormonism - I do have a bit of a soft spot for Mormonism, because it's just well...hilarious. How anyone could have believed Joseph Smith Jnr was a prophet, I don't know. I guess we at least know for certain he existed, unlike Muhammad, Jesus, Moses, or Zoroastor. Mormonism would be far lower down, if it weren't for the laddles of anti-Semitism and racism that are present in the book of Mormon, as well as its shabby treatment of women.
Christianity - What can I say? The three above this one have to be pretty bad to shunt Christianity down here. And let's not be mediocre atheists and say Jesus was a nice guy. He wasn't. He was a raving loon with some pretty nasty ideas. Confucius said everything good that Jesus said 500 years before him. And Jesus added the whole concept of eternal damnation. What a dick. he ain't ever gonna be my saviour. If I was a Christian though, I'd certainly be a good works + faith = salvation kind of guy. Luther's perverted doctrine of salvation sola fide is just evil.
Judaism - Well, Yahweh is a malicious fuck, and the laws are just so stupid I can't believe anyone ever thought they were ok. I asked if any Jews still followed all the laws in my monotheism tute, and Raquel said "no, we don't stone people anymore". SO WHY DO THEY CLAIM TO BE JEWS? What's the point? Does god's revelation need to be constantly updated (sounds like a pretty shit god) or is it perfect forever? If so, go out there and stone your blasphemous children! At least Judaism doesn't really have a concept of heaven and hell. We all just end up in shoel.
Zoroastrianism - Well, they are tiny, so they don't really hurt anyone. And they're all kind of "lovey dovey many paths to god" nowadays. But, back in its heyday, Zoroastrianism was pretty intolerant, killing Christians right left and centre. Also, Zoroastor developed the idea of heaven and hell. Plus they have really stupid ideas about women and menses.
Hinduism - Probably doesn't really exist. But for the sake of ease, it does. Kind of have heaven and hell, kind of don't. Kind of have reincarnation, kind of don't. Many paths to the one. Monotheism, maybe? Who knows. If you could pin them down doctrinially, it'd be easier, but you can't. So they're here because of the caste system, thugee, and sutee, all of which are nasty. Plus the intercommunal violence in India.
Shinto - Primarily here for the stuff during WWII. Persecuted a whole bunch of other religions in Japan. Has weird ideas about Japanese perfectionism vs. everyone else. Hard core shintoists seem happy to blow themselves up. Modern shinto-related groups like to release Sarin gas on trains (see Aum Shinrikyo).
Buddhism - Well, it hasn't got a god, which is nice. The eight fold path actually seems like a good guide to living. I guess my beef with buddhism is just that it is completely unrealistic, and fairly self indulgent. It's a "me, me, me" religion. That, and about 2000 years of serfdom in Tibet that it was responsible for. That said, Zen buddhism, and the whole concept of killing the Buddha really strike a chord with me.
Taoism - Woo, Taoism! Let the way enter you, and then do nothing! These guys are great, except for a real anti-intellectual streak. Some people refer to it as tarted up quantum physics. I don't know about that, but it certainly beats it's western monotheistic counterparts hands down.
Confucianism - I'm a big fan of the Kong jiao. I'd be even more of a fan if they took out the dubious treatment of women, and all that filial piety. That said, there ain't no god, only vague ancestor worship, and some decent ideas about how to be a good person and run a successful society.
Deism - kind of like western Taoism, except, you don't even have to let the way enter you. God is just the prime mover. It set the laws in motion, now you do your life as it was. No life after death. You just live, and die. And there is an unrelated god. Well, there you go.
Pantheism - not really even a creator god. The universe IS god. No laws, no nothing. Just the universe. Then you die, and that is the end of you. Pretty much sexed up atheism with nature worship. I think pantheism is probably the faith of the future - it goes great with the green movement.
